Chase or be chased

I would let the boy call  so many times before I actually pick up the phone. He would text “are you busy?” or “hey :)” or “hi.”  He would PM on Y!M the same question for an attempt of a conversation.  He wrote me poems and blog entries.  He sent me my first huge bouquet and valentine’s day card.  Despite unreturned calls and ignored messages, his patience was unwavering.  And perseverance was his motto.

Not so long after, calls would come from my phone to his.  There were “…,too” in my messages.

He left.

That was four years of being chased.  And self-preservation.  I did it because the books and Ms. Femininity and Propriety said so.  That would prove my worth and earn the respect of suitors.  Easy to get, easy to forget ran in my head.

Finally, I took in some concept of liberty in the University.  That I can talk to whomever I want, and say and do whatever I felt was true.

I asked what his name was. I added him on facebook. I chatted him up on Y!M. I called him over my table in the library to study with me.  I let him drive me to my next class.

We’d go on dates and I would not let him pay for me. I’d bring lunch or snacks to share with him.  I cannot remember when I said “yes” because I did not.  I just said “I love you, too” because I believed that was enough to seal the deal.

I leaned forward.

We have been together for two years and nine months now.

Being chased is not the sure recipe for a successful relationship, at least in my case.  I might have placed myself on a pedestal and proved my worth.  But when I let go of my conservative judgment and inscribed my own code, that I can also chase, I got the rewards of a relationship that runs forward.

Credits to the photographer

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One response to “Chase or be chased

  1. Awww, Andeng! I miss you and Carlos! Keep the love burning! And the friendship too. :*

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