Someday you’re gonna realize
One day you’ll see this through my eyes
But then i won’t even be there
I’ll be happy somewhere
Even if i can’t
I know you can’t tell
I’m down, and I’m not doing well
But one day these tears
They will all run dry
I won’t have to cry
So he wants to start another chapter of his life, and this time, without you. You’re in the past chapter which is good for scratching out. Done and read, he refuses to read again. He has different characters now. New, better, more exciting.
You continue to get your heart broken because you are holding the pen of your life and trying to write your own story. I am the Author of true love. I am the Creator of Romance. I know your heart’s every desire. I want to script a beautiful take just for you, but first you must give the pen to Me. You must let Me become the center of your existence. You must let Me have total control of your love life, and every other area of your life as well.
~When God Writes your Love Story.
I surrender now to You.
I want to be able to smile again. I’ve never been this depressed and lost. I don’t want to be a psycho ex. So I wanted to move on and find my own happiness, whatever kind of happiness it was. I was ready to plan out parties, escapades, wild, carefree nights with friends, with anyone. There’s nothing that a bottle of Jack can’t cure. Although I knew that was wrong, but somehow I didn’t care anymore what would happen to me. He didn’t care anymore, anyway. What’s the point of becoming “better” for him and “worthy” of him when he’s not coming back anyway? I was ready to get wasted.
I still have a bit of sense, though. There was no one I could turn to but God. I used to read books about True Love according to His ways.
I remember he gave this book “When God Writes your Love Story” for my birthday. And I didn’t really feel ecstatic about it. I found it pointless to read something that would only say “Wait. Do not be in a relationship yet. God has better plans for you…” Hello? I was already in a relationship and you tell me that? Weeks before he gave me the book, Mom already showed me a review about it. I thought it was corny.
Finally, I decided to read the book
and the first line was “I think we should break up…”
It’ll keep me busy.
I’ve been wanting to eat ice cream since last week. The last time I had one was when he said “So we have to grow.. as friends.” At that moment, the banana split was served, and I imagined it splattering across the table and glass door. I no longer had appetite. What the hell am I gonna do with this? I thought of movies where girl gets dumped, and indulges in cookies and ice cream. Perfect. I found myself stuffing every scoop in my mouth without actually tasting anything. All I wanted was to get the ice cream over with. And run.
Banana split in half was you and I. Whatthefuck. I was actually thinking about that lame analogy.
Anywaaay, fast forward to now.. I indulged in Magnum.