We’ve met before.
On a night of a phone call or lack thereof, exchange of messages or lack thereof. There was you- searing through my chest. I had curl my fingers into fists to put pressure onto my chest. I also grasp the bottom of throat so my palm would press on my collarbone. My lungs were fine and bronchioles clear, but somehow breathing is a struggle. Ironically, I covered my mouth and despite my hyperventilation.
I knew you wouldn’t kill me, but you wouldn’t seem to stop. I thought they were just being poetic when they said it hurts. It’s physical. and literal.
And now I’m shivering, doing the routine of putting pressure on my xyphoid process. Can my brain tell my system to stop feeling it? I hope it’s psychosomatic.
Do you get numb when you feel it all the time?