I want to be able to smile again. I’ve never been this depressed and lost. I don’t want to be a psycho ex. So I wanted to move on and find my own happiness, whatever kind of happiness it was. I was ready to plan out parties, escapades, wild, carefree nights with friends, with anyone. There’s nothing that a bottle of Jack can’t cure. Although I knew that was wrong, but somehow I didn’t care anymore what would happen to me. He didn’t care anymore, anyway. What’s the point of becoming “better” for him and “worthy” of him when he’s not coming back anyway? I was ready to get wasted.
I still have a bit of sense, though. There was no one I could turn to but God. I used to read books about True Love according to His ways.
I remember he gave this book “When God Writes your Love Story” for my birthday. And I didn’t really feel ecstatic about it. I found it pointless to read something that would only say “Wait. Do not be in a relationship yet. God has better plans for you…” Hello? I was already in a relationship and you tell me that? Weeks before he gave me the book, Mom already showed me a review about it. I thought it was corny.
Finally, I decided to read the book
and the first line was “I think we should break up…”
It’ll keep me busy.